When discussing a parenting plan for your children following separation from your spouse, remember there is no "standard" parenting plan for divorced couples. What worked or was court-ordered for your friends who are divorced is not necessarily what is appropriate in your circumstances.
An appropriate child custody and visitation plan will vary depending on the ages of the children, their school schedule, the work schedules of the parents, and the geographic distance between the parents' homes. The parenting plan should provide regular, consistent times with each parent for day-to-day care, school and extra-curricular activities, holidays and vacations. The plan should be adjusted to accommodate the children, not the parents' convenience.
If the parents do not communicate or cooperate well, it may be necessary to set times for exchange of the children, provide which parent will provide transportation, and at times even where the children will be picked up and dropped off. The parenting plan should be detailed enough to avoid conflicts that may arise in the day-to-day parenting of your children. If the child is involved in sports, religious, or other activities, there should be provision for which parent (or both) are responsible for transporting the child to those activities.
At the same time, the parents should agree on which activities the children are involved. It is not appropriate for one parent to enroll the child in an activity without consulting the other parent, especially where doing so would impact the other parent's time with that child. A sound parenting plan should allow the child frequent and regular contact with both parents while affording them a safe, nurturing home environment.
Finally, if either parent has a problem with drug or alcohol abuse, violence, or neglect, you should consult an agency, therapist or attorney to assist in making adjustments to assure the child's safety and well-being. There are numerous web sites on the internet that can assist you with guidelines, suggestions, and even worksheets to assist with a sound, detailed agreement.
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A close friend of mine had to deal with his parents getting divorced back when we were kids. I remember it being a lot of trouble trying to figure out who gets to keep what, and who gets the kids when and for how long. While the process of it all was quite draining for everyone involved, I don't think the results could have turned out much better.
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This is a really interesting article. I didn't know that parenting plans had to be so detailed. It makes sense though because you want to accommodate each parents schedule. It makes me sad though because the child's life completely centers around whether or not the parents can work together.
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My buddy and his wife divorced last year. He was telling me that the split was pretty easy, but he was rather amazed at how intense it got when it came to sharing the kids. I think that cooler heads prevailed because, just from observation, the kids seem to be doing quite well now a year later.
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You make a very good point, there is no one plan to fit all divorces. Kids will be effected as well as the former couple. All that can be done is adjusting according to the need at the time.
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I am going through my second divorce and I would really like it to be less stressful than my last! I want a plan that will work for me and my family. I need a lawyer that will really work with you?
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I had just a few questions I would like to ask a divorce lawyer. I have never met with one before, so I do not really know anything about child support or custody. There are quite a few questions I would like to know so that I can have my fair share of things.
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That is very wise advice. Every family is different and their needs will be different also. It can be difficult to figure out what your family needs but it will be worth it in the end.
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It's very true, lots of factors go into child custody. I have a buddy who went through a divorce, and ended up with full custody of his children when his ex-wife turned to alcohol. http://www.dunsmuirridler.ca/practice_areas.html
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are going through a little bit of a rough patch and I was worried we would have to use the same separation method that my friend used. Thank you for being worried about the children and knowing that what works for one person, doesn't work for everyone. I will definitely keep all of these in mind.
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If either of you are unhappy, you should seriously consider a divorce. Life is too short for misery. My wife and I are splitting up, and I am actually relieved. The legal process is stressful and complicated, but I know that I will be much happier when it is all over.
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Parenting plans is so important when going through a divorce. Kids need to be heard too! They need both their parents. http://www.buhlerlawoffice.com/Family-Law-Divorce/Divorce.shtml
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that every divorce situation is different and requires different methods of going about custody and other issues. Divorce can be very tough on every person who is affect by it. They can be very confusing and difficult sometimes. That is why a good divorce lawyer is so important. I know because i have experienced it.
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It is never good to go through a divorce for you and your family. I saw my family get ripped apart and it was sad at first but then I realized it was for the best. I still get to see my kids and me and wife are actually really good friends. Our divorce attorney helped us settle everything and it made it easier.
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I do agree that child custody after divorce is the most difficult process. My sister got divorced and her husband was only allowed to see the children every other weekend because of where he lived and the kids school schedule. Ray is right, divorce is never an easy process for a family but sometimes it's worth it to get past certain difficulties.
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My sister just filed for divorce with her husband. She wants to make this as painless as possible for her kids, even though she knows that isn't possible. I agree that both parents need to be involved in the child's life after the divorce. I hope that is the case for my friend.
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This has been really hard for me and my kid. Having been divorced for five years now the custody fight has always been a huge struggle between me and my ex husband. We manage but there is no real way to have custody be 50/50 so some weeks I'll go missing my son more than others. http://www.wisedivorce.com/divorce.html
ReplyDeleteI wish all divorced parents would read this article. So many people think a divorce will sever all ties with the other person, but that's simply not true when there are kids involved. Both parents need to be actively engaged in the children's well-being to make sure they grow up safe and happy. It's not about convenience, it's about the child.
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My divorce attorney saved me a lot of money. It was quite the headache. I am glad I was able to get the money though. http://www.sarahjliddylaw.com/about-us
ReplyDeleteThe most important part of a divorce is the kids. It is already hard for them and they do not need anything to had to the hard time. To make it easier the parents should both agree to joint custody and they both should be able to see them whenever the want. If the kids want to go see their dad and they are with their mom, then the mom should be alright with that. It will make life for the kids much easier. https://www.sodomalaw.com/
ReplyDeleteIt is nice to see an attorney that is cognizant of divorce's traumatic effects. I think some people have the misconception that it is all about the money. Divorce is a difficult and complicated process, and attorneys are a much needed source of guidance for those going through it.
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I am starting to realize this. My wife and I are splitting up, and it is much more traumatic than I had anticipated. Thankfully, we have been able to shield the children from it. I am going to hire an attorney to guide me through this difficult time.
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I hope that you are able to keep you children shielded from the drama. When my parents divorced, they trashed each other in front of me. It was very traumatic, and I hope that no other child has to experience that pain.
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I am sorry to hear about your divorce, Jerry. It will get easier as time goes on. You made the right decision to get a lawyer. You must protect your assets during this difficult time.
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My wife's parents got divorced when she was only 10 years old, and it was so hard on her. To this day she still really struggles with the fact that her parents split up. They had a lawyer that helped them out, so she got plenty of time with each parent. That still didn't completely heal all of the wounds. http://www.patrickcashlawyers.com.au/family-law
ReplyDeleteGreat information to know for these situations. There are a lot of options to go about it. Like the article said, there is no standard,especially when it come to kids that are involved.
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My brother is thinking he will get a divorce soon. I hope he finds really good legal help for him and his family. I wonder how they will split up time with the kids.
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It really is true that once you get a divorce, there are many things that need to be followed in order to take care of your children. I only know this because my parents were divorced once I turned 12. It became really hard for me and I just want to wish luck to any of those families that also have to go through that. http://southernutahdivorce.com/
ReplyDeleteMy brother and his wife are planning on getting a divorce. Its a super sad situation and I feel bad for both of them. I am trying to help them as much as possible so that its an easy smooth process. I am trying to help them find a great attorney to help them through the divorce. There are so many out there so it's taking me a while to research each one to find the right one.
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My brother just recently filled to get a divorce. It is a really tough time for them and especially for the kids. They are trying to decide the parenting plan for the children. I am trying to help out as much as possible so I am researching to learn more about it and to see if there is something I can do to help.
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I have never gone through the experience of having a divorce, yet I know a few friends who have. They have told me that it is a very rough patch to get through in their lives. There is always arguing and other turmoil. If I was in their situation, I would hire a lawyer as soon as I could. That way I would some sense of security with what I am dealing with. http://www.calvinnelson.com.au/CalvinNelsonCo2213/Page/24371/Divorce+%26+Family+Law.aspx
ReplyDeleteThe kids well being should always come to mind when considering a divorce. Having a plan as to which party should take them and for how long, needs to be something that is conducive to their future growth. It is sometimes hard to manage all of this, but it is essential if the divorce is to be considered a true success.
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Any time you are dealing with children, and child custody, it's a really good idea to be in contact with a divorce lawyer. That can make a huge difference in the big scheme of things. You want to make sure that you have things in place to make that happen. http://www.griffithsandgodecke.com.au/family_law
ReplyDeleteI think it's extremely important to think about things like this as well as you can. Children don't fully understand everything about divorce, and you need to make sure that you're helping them, as much as possible, to get through the experience. Finding something that balances the child's needs and wants with the parents wants, and capabilities is the best way to do this to ensure that the child isn't permanently damaged from this experience.
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My sister is going through a divorce and she is worried about how her two kids are going to handle it. She and her soon-to-be-ex husband has been trying to figure out the custody, but they have been trying to keep it away from their kids. I like what you said about the parents agreeing. That they should agree on their after school activities, and what programs they are enrolled in.
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ReplyDeleteYes you are right that When someone discussing a parenting plan after separation form their spouse, the plan should be adjusted to accommodate the children, not the parents' convenience.
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