Most people faced with a divorce hire a family law litigation attorney. One reason is that divorce is a very emotional process for the participants, and they are usually angry, distrustful of the other party, and intimidated or afraid of the process. They don't believe the other side will be reasonable, and feel they need to be aggressive to get what they want.
But a litigation attorney's first objective should be to attempt to reach an agreement with the other party on some or all of the issues. If the parties are able to agree on division of assets and debts, but not custody and visitation of children, then the parties should stipulate to the property division and focus on resolving the custody dispute. It does not help to withhold agreement on property issues and hold it hostage to getting what you want with custody and visitation. Some attorneys do this better than others.
It takes most family law attorneys several or many years to fully understand the dynamic of divorcing couples, and the emotions that motivate their actions. Often the client is his own worst enemy. If children are involved, those parties will continue to be involved with one another until after the the youngest turns 18, often longer. Given that they will need to continue dealing with one another for years to come, the worst that can happen in a divorce is to make one side or the other so angry they are forever motivated by a desire to get even with the wrong the feel they have suffered.
So an experienced family law attorney realizes his or her client is best served by negotiation and compromise so both parties feel like they have given a little and gained a little. With compromise, the parties maintain control over their lives and those of their children, even though they may not have realized exactly what they wanted. That is almost always better than gambling with formal contested proceedings where at least one side is going to walk away feeling like they "lost" and dedicate themselves to coming back to get even. This is where conflicts escalate and people get locked into the revolving court doors.
Conversely, a litigator also realizes that at times one party or the other simply is too angry or hurt to be reasonable, and compromise and agreement is not possible. For those clients the litigator must protect his client through the court's process. Discovery proceedings can be utilized where one party is unwilling to recognize their obligation to disclose all material facts and information regarding their finances, mediation procedures and trial can be used to implement custody and visitation plans, and motions requesting temporary orders can be used to reduce conflict pending settlement or trial.
When one side is unwilling or unable to be reasonable, the litigator must protect their client by navigating them through the court process. Sometimes this is the only way to get parties divorced, divide the marital estate, and institute a parenting plan with provisions for future support of the children. But it's a process that usually works.
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Showing posts with label Sacramento Divorce Blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sacramento Divorce Blog. Show all posts
Monday, September 6, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
GETTING HELP WITH YOUR DIVORCE
It happens with most people. They come into my office for an initial consultation because their marriage has fallen apart. They want to get a divorce, don't know what will happen, and don't know what questions to ask or where to start. They are not prepared with sufficient information to allow me to give them answers.It's normal. Most people haven't been through a divorce, and are too confused or distracted by emotional stress to understand what kind of help they need. Often the first meeting with an attorney causes more distress, but it shouldn't.
My name is James Bayse and I am an attorney in Sacramento, California whose practice has been almost exclusively dedicated to Family Law for over 15 years. Most often, my first appointment with a client consists of learning about the client's circumstances and determining what kind of help they need, and what problems they may encounter.
One client may need an aggressive litigator to protect them from a vindictive or angry spouse. Another may need an attorney capable of working cooperatively with the other side to reach a settlement agreement while making certain you are making sound decisions regarding the issues in your divorce. Still others may be better served with a Family Law attorney who mediates the issues with both parties, or a collaborative attorney who will assist you while your spouse is represented by their own collaborative attorney to reach an agreement.
This blog is intended to educate those facing important decisions that will have long-term consequences for them and their children. I invite you to join me and follow what I hope will be helpful articles for those facing confusing and difficult times. I will be talking about the divorce process and substantive law on the various issues you will encounter.
Let me know your thoughts, and whether the dialogue was helpful for you. I will be updating frequently and hope to hear from you. Next, How to Find the Right Lawyer for You......
Regards,
James Bayse
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